Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
