Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
