she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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