Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
