Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize