Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
