Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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