It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
