i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am one with the molecules
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize