I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
