My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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