Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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