I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
