I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
