11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
