they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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