This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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