you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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