it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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