marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
