They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
