where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
