where am i from again
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
