I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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