Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
