you traded sex for a burrito?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
