The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
