does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
