i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize