saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
