But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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