I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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