Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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