I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
