You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
