It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
