I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Randomize
