There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you win again, gameday.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
