just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
