"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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