even my farts smell like vagina
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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