totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
