She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
