yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
