Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
