He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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