a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
