everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you traded sex for a burrito?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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