I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
