xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize