Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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