You're completely useless in the revolution.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
