Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
