I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
