I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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