no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
